HASHTAG NO FILTER
Ah the many joys, trials, and relentless tribulations of self love. Is it really possible that I, a little brown girl not quite the definition of beauty by any traditional standard, could rise up and chase my dreams with so few examples as my North Star?
You know what else I often wondered, while propped upon my windowpane basking in the morning sun, dizzied with introspection as I watched the world go by à la Carrie Bradshaw…why don't these digital socialites (aka bottomfeeders) simply just say outright that their J Crew catalogue boyfriend spends four hours every single day snapping People Magazine-esque castaway photos of them? Ohhh I forgot. It's only on the weekends after their “real” jobs. Riiiight.
Those girls. I see you over there. You make a bitch wanna change THOT to TGOT with major side eye. Dabbling in a hot poppin’ Internet career which so obnoxiously propagates women unlearning how to love our true, natural selves, because nowadays we rather be perfectly fake like you. You spend every weekend of your “career” where the editorial calendar simply reads: Brainwashing, executed effortlessly by snapping photos of you twirling and strolling and smiling and laughing, and then post them Monday through Friday to make us all believe you lead an utterly fabulous life without flaws. Make us believe that you're an intelligent specimen unlike any other, with the innate sense of style to whip together a colorful yet subdued, sexy yet demure; perfectly balanced fashion-forward outfit each and every day before work, (what do you do for work again?) without fail no matter the flu germs hovering about, bloated fat ass days, gloomy weather changes striking last minute, menstrual cycles making life seem shitty, coffee drips that fall on your bosom right as you're stepping out the door. Teasing us with flawless perfection on Instagram. Crafting surface level motivational captions that inspires us to aspire. To be you?
Oh nooo, you are it.
"excess" fashion editorial styled and creative directed by me, shot by Kristin Brynn Costello
You conquer it all. Brands send you La Mer moisturizer, Brazilian hair extensions, leather diaper bags, fresh-from-the-runway Gucci sandals, and you turn them into seamless works of art. With so much free shit, it makes your monthly budget sing. Now you can prance around in TJ Maxx and score dozens of licensed designer made-in-China crap by the boatload (like the rest of us!) and recommend that your readers buy it full price after you've tracked down "similar" items on the highest commission payout sites. But bless your heart, you’ve seen the light of sustainable environmentalism and you're a born again MINIMALIST now.
So you do everything exactly the same.
But now you just wear black and white with a hint of neutral pink. Le’st we forget the daily bold lip sponsored by Dior rouge lip gloss.
Touché.
Bravo. Bravo. I eat every word. I comment "fabulous" on every post! I buy your new book straight from the book tour - all ten signed copies. When you say jump, I ask if I should put on my Jimmy Choos or red bottom bloodies first. You tell me to buy 30 pieces of luxury XYZ every single season along with a 10-step Korean beauty kit, and I oblige. You are smarter than me. You're prettier. You’re so WOKE. You seem to have figured out the talent that is blogging (writing?? journalism??? the same kind I actually went to college for??) because your Kim Kardashianesque bank account says so.
But I feel sick.
Like, physically ill.
The way I did after Roger told me in elementary school he couldn't go out with me anymore because I was "too brown" for his mother’s approval.
Burn.
So I think it has come high time to break up with you baby girl. #TGOT. I'll barely miss you because I can hardly remember what your original God given face looks like. There are 19,000,000 others just like you. Each new overly tanned, waist-trained, botoxed, daily crop just like the last batch. I applaud you for reviewing those skincare collections with the suspenseful subtle art of a jaded film critic, and seeing the minimalist fashion trend before anyone else; jumping right in -- sponsored links blazing. I can appreciate a savvy and clever business woman. You go ahead have fun with the endless puppetry, and I'll march on posting my rants and raves. I take my time. I cultivate. I think. I research. But bless your heart doll, because you have a neverending perpetual closet full of shit you don't remember having and overflowing suitcases of gifts galore that will get pinned and instagrammed and eventually, some time down the road, will win you a Nobel Peace Prize. Because you're a humanitarian. You know what other mindless, self-loathing women want, and just like American Apparel or Anthropologie, you'll be dammed if you don't give it to them. #savior
*
Sooooo, just stopping by to say welcome to the reformation!
Welcome, welcome my love. I am truly honored and humbled you decided to swing by and hang out for a while.
You gracing me with your presence is the highlight of my day. All the days. All the feels. Cue the happy dance music! Twerk it out. You know you want to. I’ll permit a two-step shuffle, if like me, you can’t twerk sensually to save your life.
Hope you like the new look ‘round here. Do you? Please say you do. I think it's rather spirited and inviting and clean. A great canvas for the fed up version of myself. A place where I will paint the town red with things I actually care passionately about, like loving on myself as hard as I can and spreading that love -- like relationships with other humans outside of screens, expanding and contracting and evolving, taking care of numero uno, (not just on Sundays) and mental health that starts in the gut. I have a lot of new beliefs on what it means to truly love myself in such a contentious modern age, and I want to share, to no one in particular.
I hope to never be alone in this new journey, so I'm glad you're here. Thank you for reading, and please, do make yourself comfortable. Don’t be shy. This is your home too. #judgementfreezone
I have a gift for you that is wrapped up sweetly with my heart and soul. A peek into why we are all here in the first place. And I guess it makes sense to welcome you to the party. It will be a nice one. Filled with food for the soul, places to be discovered, memories to be remembered. As with all good things worth the wait, some time is needed to turn it into a cozy place, but I’m working on it. Slowly. Mostly because at any given moment my hands are smothered in chocolatey bliss oozing from the work I do over here.
Old and new followers alike may be wondering why the swanky new online digs when I already own another corner of the interwebs - and what's with all this self love mess. Well, it's quite simple really:
I’m checking myself into rehab.
Self love rehab.
Yup, it's a thing. Boom, I just created it. For myself, and maybe for you, quite simply out of sheer necessity. I bet you never saw this coming.
And because writing is my sacred art, this is not a business. And I am not a brand. I will only aim to write and craft words for public consumption when it's seeping from my bones and pouring from my fingers. Plus a true minimalist knows, you only have important things to say some of the time, not all of the time. I promise not to be yet another gratuitous, vapid, narcissistic scribe for the sake of ego. I could just have wine and get laid instead if I liked hearing myself scream nonsense, trust me!
Now that a lack of hope in our governments ever functioning the next few years is sweeping across this mother earth, I realized it's time to use our freedom of VOICE and CHOICE to make things happen, both for ourselves, and others around us …peeking… always watching from a trolling distance, of whom we may inspire from leading by example. We can't live vicariously through others forever, when instead we can just rise up and live for ourselves, and we can't keep putting the dream life on hold either. Start now. Don't be ignorant or blind. You're better than that. You're my friend, so I know you are. And by the way....
Tell me in the comments, what would be your ideal purposeful blog?
xo,
Letitia
Letitia
I really like the new look of the blog, very minimalist =)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your blog, it inspires me every day. Keep up with the good work
Sophie.
Ah thanks so much Sophie! You're too sweet. If its inspiring and good looking around here, guess I'll keep chugging along :)
DeleteA thought for you to ponder (if you want 🖤): You wrote #judgmentfreezone but spent a good portion of your post judging how others choose to put themselves out into this world (specifically on social media). Do you feel like this is a space where anyone could show up exactly as they are, even if it’s perceived as superficial or fake? We’re all at different points in our journey. Some have been able to shed societal pressures more easily than others. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
DeleteWow. Great point Anita! Thanks for leaving that comment and giving me something to ponder on. It does seem rather contradicting of me when you put it that way. Of course I am spending most of the essay being a bit tongue-in-cheek and sarcastic, but for the intention where I am being serious, I was aiming more for THIS community where MY PEOPLE exist, the kind of people who do not want to live like a typical "influencer" of others...within that context, this is indeed a safe judgement-free space for "the rest of us". The space I'm creating I want to exclude on purpose, anyone who doesn't live intentionally and mindfully of their affect on themselves and others. Then within that, I cast no judgement, as we are all works in progress! But I have come to desire a separation from those who will do anything for attention and use their platform to willfully put others in harms way, whether that's mentally, health wise, stigmas, etc. If it requires a bit of hypocrisy on my part, that is a sacrifice I am willing to make for now. I still have my own learning and growing to do! But I do see your point there, maybe those who I am trying to distance myself from are indeed trying to grow and change too, and therefor may feel judged? I'll have to really work on that line of thought. Any suggestions? :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteI like the new blog style. But some fripperies/personality markers can be nice, too. I feel like a lot of the blogs I read are going super-minimalist in their format so it wouldn't hurt to have a little flourish somewhere so we remember we're about to read Leti's blog (besides the content, which is unmatched an awesome, btw - I adore and relate to your rants!). I have stopped reading a lot of other blogs when the commercial side of them became WAY BLATANT ala the blogger you're describing here. I want enough stuff without the hard sell, and I'm too damn old/wise to fall for the belief that these bloggers lead such glossy lives. I love that you call 'em out on their BS :D
ReplyDeleteOh Sarah, I adore you. And not because you're always so friggin good to me (though that helps haha) but we think the same and you just say it in a way that's more eloquent and non-abrasive than I. Well maybe I'm not that abrasive, but rants have definitely become my new thing. Its a phase :)
DeleteAnd I hear ya on being too minimalist. I was pondering that as well and working on a watercolor soft and sexy logo banner for the top. Whatdya think? I'll try it soon and lyknow..
HI Lola, i just wanted to say that I absolutely love your blog! your straight forward attitude is so refreshing and your blunt comments make me laugh, for once I feel like the person on the other side is actually a real person, your definitely my new must read blog
ReplyDeleteWow thanks so much Lauren!! I really appreciate it. I try :) Hope to see you around here again soon xx
DeleteI love a clean blog format. Nice work. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Lindsay! Its definitely a more enjoyable place to come and work now :)
Delete